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14 November 2005 @ 12:25 am
Silent Movie, Crowley/Aziraphale  
Title: Silent Movie
Author: Ref
Fandom: Good Omens
Rating: PG
Pairing: Crowley/Aziraphale
Summary: Crowley pays attention. (700 words)
Notes: A temple is being built in irisbleu's name for her wonderful beta and general awesomeness. She made this ficlet readable.

Crowley pays attention. In fact, he pays too much attention to everything and, because it's too bloody much, he forgets things. He can be as intelligent as Aziraphale, and he can find a way to remember everything, but he doesn't (and he isn't). He'll observe how the very hip and up-to-date human works on a laptop, take in mind the whole environment, movement and expression, but he'll never give enough of a care to actually perceive what that human is working on. It's how Crowley functions.

It might be vanity, -- he never quite got the hang of the whole sin thing -- but mostly it's prioritizing. So maybe he'll lose the exquisite experience of a well drunk cup of tea along the way, but he'll look good losing it. Here comes the good part, it's not only how he looks that matters, but projecting how he feels through body language. Crowley believes that his body language is strong and secure. It makes him the person he believes himself to be, where with only a glance behind his glasses and a slight shoulder tilt, the other person will be able to understand him. He's strong, silent and very expressive. In a masculine way, of course.

Except it doesn't quite work like that.

The only other person he notices enough to observe how they take in his behavior is Aziraphale. The angel is so much Crowley's opposite that he doesn't seem to notice anything. He'll get that all-knowing look in his eyes, tilt his head gently and occasionally say 'Oh, dear' in that same all-knowing way, like Crowley is delusional about whatever they are talking about. And then, he smiles: that kind, silent smile that says more than all Crowley's carefully planned body language. He never could understand what that smile says, exactly.

Getting very, very drunk is a perfect way to avoid the subject in their silent conversations, because silence is not an option when one is drunk (unless it's of the numb variety). So they say a lot of things that don't matter and some that do, but Crowley spends a lot of the time noticing. Aziraphale drinks and sips and tastes things like he's becoming a part of them. He treats every page of a book like the fiber which makes up the universe. He's constantly surprised by people's lack of trust in him and never lets on that it's a bother. In all those cases, Crowley smirks in his own language and wonders if Aziraphale would be able to read him if he started speaking his silent language.

But he wouldn't, because he can't pay that much attention to details. Besides, he doesn't want to. That would also mean he'll stop noticing all these things he's learned to enjoy. And why would he want Aziraphale to understand him? If there was something important that he wanted to tell the angel, he'd have said it out loud. He'd even spell it out obnoxiously enough that the angel would have no choice but to understand him.

Crowley believes very firmly that he doesn't have anything unsaid.

Apparently, Aziraphale doesn't agree. He's leaning towards Crowley with that unnerving smile, and says something that Crowley doesn't really hear. It sounds like a demand, but it's too quiet over the sounds around him. His knee is banging against the table, and his glasses have been put away, and the sound of his breathing is deafening. He really should answer Aziraphale's question he can't remember, so he looks and desperately tries to notice the question on the angel's face. Their eyes are too close to even try focusing.

It's not in a flash of blinding light that he realizes he should say the thing he's been needing to say. It doesn't sharpen his senses when he realizes that he's about to tell Aziraphale, either. It's something that the angel already knew and had told him too many times to count. He decides not to say it aloud, because Aziraphale already knows, and Crowley isn't the type of person to repeat himself.

Instead, he shows him.

Aziraphale is smiling against his lips, telling him he's heard every word.

Worrals: Blythe will fuck you up.livii on November 14th, 2005 04:08 pm (UTC)
This is really nicely done; I like the construction of it very much.
refche on November 15th, 2005 02:11 am (UTC)
*hug* Thank you, hun! It was one of those sudden inspiration fics where words come while you're supposed to be writing something else.
willocwen on March 4th, 2006 10:00 am (UTC)
Came in, floating on driftwood with a camel from fanfic100, to say: brava! I love it.