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04 October 2005 @ 03:11 pm
Harry Potter - not your john  
Title: not your john
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Draco/Hermione
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Because so much was lost, everyone needed to believe that at least something was saved. Everyone needed symbolism.
Notes: For awakencordy. | Un-betaed, post HBP with warnings for overuse of italics. | John, when not used as a name, can be encountered as a male consort.



Draco didn't turn out to be the hero he imagined he would be. Instead he was rescued, turned into a charity case. People would murmur 'Poor boy' when he passed them, because of the things he was supposedly forced to do.

He played the part well. Humble and in constant reflection of the dark past he had left behind. It used to eat him away. Now it was second nature.

Even Severus found it eerie that Draco slipped so easily into the role of a misunderstood and mislead teenager. After the war was over, he probably started believing it, too. It might have been justification for saving an unworthy soul. It matters not.

Potter was the first though, with his inflatable ego, believing that there's good in Draco, that he's not a killer. 'I was there, I saw you hesitate. I saw you realizing the truth!' he would yell. Draco was never sure who exactly he was trying to convince.

Because so much was lost, everyone needed to believe that at least something was saved. Everyone needed symbolism.

Everyone except her, that is.

Granger knew, and wasn't afraid to show it with every sideway glance and condescending stare. Her eyes yelled 'Liar' when she looked at him and the back of her head was too silent when she turned her back in anger.

He tried ignoring her, but he could never do it first. She always found a way to speak to the person right behind his shoulder, always found a way to be just too busy to say a polite greeting on the street.

It hurt Draco. It hurt him that the only person who knew the truth, knew him for the bastard he really was, wouldn't acknowledge it in public. It was a sort of a secret hate that ate him up from the inside.

"Hermione's got a very nice bum," Potter slurred, staring at said bum as she walked towards the bathroom.

"What? I... what?" Draco couldn't wrap his thoughts around the thing he just heard. It was partly because he was already lost in thought, and mostly because he was too drunk to comprehend.

"Well, she does... So tell me, what are your intentions, boy?" he asked. He even tried to look serious about it, but his goofy smile ruined it.

"My what?" he asks, panic rising in his throat.

"Oh, come off it... You know, she says very nice things about you. She's a big fan of your work..."

"She... my... what?" And he hates the tone of his voice right now. It's high and squeaky and it makes him sure that everyone in the pub can hear his thoughts. It doesn't matter that they're not very rich with content at the moment.

"You seem awfully fond of that word. 'What...'," he repeated as if tasting how the word came out. "Are you drunk?"

Granger shows up with impeccable timing and ruffles Potter's hair. "It doesn't really matter, considering you most certainly are, Harry. I suggest we end this meeting now, seeing it is as successful as every Saturday meeting you manage to arrange."

"I think it was a huge success. We discussed some very essesan... esss... some very important issues for wizarding Britain. Issssuesss," he hissed. "Essss. 'Tis a nice letter." Then he proceeds to speak in Parseltongue. That, or he was just randomly hissing.

Draco thinks she's right, they've had a bit too much to drink and they ought to be heading home. He tries to say it, but words have trouble forming around his mouth. Instead he finds him self saying, 'Suede' for no apparent reason.

They both turn and stare at him, one confused, the other grinning and a little too omniscient for his liking. "I bet that's the title of his next poem," Potter says.

"Yes, I'm sure," Hermione deadpans. "Come on, Harry, let's Floo home. Do you need help, Draco?" she asks the air beside Draco.

"Oh, no. I'm fine. I'll walk," he says, still a bit lost.

"Walk? To Farnborough?"

"What? No! I mean, I'll walk about some and then apparate home." He turns to leave with a polite nod of his head, not waiting for an answering one.

---

Thoughts are still whirling and the cold air isn't helping as he hoped it would. He didn't have that much to drink, anyway. Suede, he thinks, and a pair of buff trousers appear in his mind. They look soft and he almost convinces himself that he doesn't want to touch them.

A kilometer goes unnoticed under his feet.

'How does she know where I live?' he mutters to himself, though he isn't that surprised. He knows where she lives. And the witch has always been terribly well informed.

Another kilometer walked and his anger builds up. She isn't supposed to say nice things about him. She hasn't got a right to. They hate each other and that's that. Easy, simple. She needs to be the one fighting her friends, telling them that he's not changed, that he's an evil charlatan trying to save his own hide.

The anger carries him through a whirlwind, apparition pulling him with intent. He knows where to go, he's been there far too many times for his liking. The wards are set to recognize him. Except for the minor difference where he usually ends up in their sitting room and not in Granger's study.

She's curled up in a chair, a cup of tea in one hand and a thin, four-sided gray object in the other. It appeared as if he had interrupted her reading. Though, to be honest, he expected a lot more books.

"Are you lost?" she asks, only mildly surprised at his materialization.

'No, I came here for a taste of hate. Needed something true. Was hoping you could yell at me for a while.' "You have a nice bum," he choked out.

In the few second she needed to grasp what he had said, he contemplated inventing a spell for kicking one's own behind.

She didn't react. Just stood there annoyed, looking as if she hoped he would go away somehow.

"Potter said so. And said that you said nice things about me. Wanted to know why. I... You hate me. I can see it. And with good reason, too. Just... why? Why go around confirming what everyone else believes? Like they're not blind enough as it is?"

It sounded too desperate and for a moment he was afraid that she'd start pitying him as well. But instead she laughed. It wasn't nearly as soft as he imagined it would be.

"Of course, you would think everything is about you," she said, exasperated. "Consider it, Malfoy. Think! You'll see you answered your own stupid question. People need to see change, need to see unity. An auror, poet and ministry official, all coming from different blood, meet in a pub on a Saturday night. It's almost a joke. But people see and they think we're discussing philosophy, not getting sloshed."

"So... you're doing it for the people?"

He flinches as he asks, because he already knows the answer, knew the answers before he even got there. And he asks himself, if not for answers, why is he here, then?

"I'm doing it so people will start to ask, why not? Oh, yes Harry, his poems are always so inspirational. Of course it's all right if we go out with him. That's all in the past, it's obvious how he's changed." she mimics, her voice shrill and raw, the same as her mocking laughter. It grates his nerves. That was why he had to step forward and kiss her, to make that tone go away. It was only meant to faze her, scare her into silence.

She wasn't supposed to respond, softening the intrusion and turning it into a real kiss. Maneuvering them right so she could lay down her teacup safely on the table. And her hands were not supposed to entangle in his hair as their bodies aligned.

But as his hands roam, they get to her trousers and he feels the material under his fingers. "Suede," he whispers and pulls her more tightly to him. There's an answering moan on her lips that goes straight to Draco's cock.

Suddenly they spin and he's on the floor, Granger straddling him with a smirk on her face. He wants to wipe it off so he lifts up his hips and rubs their groins together. With one hand kneading a breast, feeling the hard nipple underneath, the other guides their bodies into a rhythm.

The smirk disappears.

From then on, it's no longer a power struggle. Limbs work in almost perfect synchrony with teeth and tongues as they fumble on the ground. Too much hair gets in the way and Draco gathers it, using it to forcefully turn her around. For a moment he thinks it's too much, but she groans a sultry More and it resonates through Draco's skin.

He pulls down her trousers (those damn suede trousers) and follows the slow path with his tongue. Writing down runes and symbols with it, he feasts on her body. A vicious thought in the back of his head wonders how mud could taste so good. It's pushed back with thoughts and desires for penetration, pounding, sounds of flesh meeting flesh.

He expected her to be loud. There is purring and deep moans that will haunt him for the rest of his life, but no loud screams. No demands of God and higher wizards. The breathless hisses she makes in response to his movements are the second most beautiful sound he has ever heard.

Her hot breath on his ear as she whispers Draco is the first.

With that they both come apart for the first time that night. Everything after that is sensation. Sensational. Too perfect, too convenient, to be true.

And as most things in life, is it.

---

"Mornin' Draco. Coffee?" Potter says.

He's half-naked and grinning above Granger's bed, holding a tray with what Draco presumed was the morning coffee.

"What?"

"Hermione's in the shower. Thought you'd need a little help to wake up," he says and pushes a hot cup into Draco's hands.

"I prefer sleep to coffee, when I can allow it," he says but takes a sip, sighing gratefully. "Are you all right with... this?"

Potter looks at Draco as if he's too polite to ask what's wrong with him.

"Just asking," he says with a shrug. "You were very interested in the subject of her bum last night."

"Oh, that. Well, no, I'm fine with it. I'm a little surprised you are. Drink up now, you need to get dressed and out of here soon. John's coming for brunch."

Several things tried to arrange themselves in Draco's head. One was the fact that the only clothing he had on was a white sheet wrapped around his midsection. The other was the image of Granger coming out, wrapped in just a towels, looking as if she were in her own home. (The fact that she actually was, managed to escape him at the moment.) And the last, most confusing thing, sudden flashes of headlines and articles he always managed to scoff at.

"Harry, could you leave us a bit?"

He does and there's silence. For the first time he notices there's a ring on her finger and tries to remember why he didn't see it last night.

"I took it off. Not much for rings, myself," she says.

"You're really marrying that... that John? The one the Prophet talked about? The muggle?"

"I am," she says, calm, firm. Empty, he thinks, but he wonders if it was only a part of his imagination.

"I thought they were just doing a story. I mean, It's the Prophet for Merlin's sake. Since when are their scandals true? You're probably the best witch of our generation. You can't go off and marry a muggle named John!"

As he said it, he knew that was precisely the reason why she was doing it. It came to him with the feeling of bile was rising up his throat. She was needlessly telling him about thinning bloodlines and the importance of keeping the magic alive. None of it penetrated the throbbing feeling in his head.

"I will not be your... your toy!" he bellows. For a moment he almost said john.

"I understand," she says with a voice that implies she knows better.

"Who appointed you to be public relations for wizarding Britain? Was there an election? I'd have remembered something of the like. It would have been mentioned in the bloody paper!"

There's some more yelling, mostly one-sided, but in the end the situation is the same. Hermione Granger has arranged brunch with her fiancée, and Draco can't afford to stir trouble. So they dress and avoid each other's eyes and they both make a point of not saying anything.

Draco tries to fathom why this bothers him so much, but he feels he's not ready to find out just yet. He tells himself he'll go home, find a girl tonight, make her swoon with empty poetry. And next Saturday, him, Potter and Granger will go out and get pissed. Her scornful look will be back and they'll erase all memory of hazy eyes exploding in color as she climaxes.

He will not be her john.

She already has one too many.


 
 
 
awakencordy: hp / teh new book (me)awakencordy on October 4th, 2005 02:43 pm (UTC)
>>"She... my... what?" And he hates the tone of his voice right now.

LOL *cracks down*

>>She isn't supposed to say nice things about him. She hasn't got a right to. They hate each other and that's that. Easy, simple.

so sad, yet true. I like non OOC relationshipped fics :D

they kissed? it took me out of expectation too! whewww

>>But as his hands roam, they get to her trousers and he feels the material under his fingers. "Suede," he whispers and pulls her more tightly to him. There's an answering moan on her lips that goes straight to Draco's cock.

mm.

>>A vicious thought in the back of his head wonders how mud could taste so good.

I hate you when you do that!! so good and it hurts, roarrr!

john?! *gets angry* did I tell you that hermione is stupid? I mean really, really stupid? well helllooo?? nekkid draco is there!!

He will not be her john.
She already has one too many.


*weeps*




Haha, I love when my friends write something for me. actually you are the first besides my best friend :D *hugs*

you and I? are the OTP baby :)
refche on October 4th, 2005 02:55 pm (UTC)
She really is stupid. One day she'll smarten up and I'll write a happy-ending D/Hr. As for the kiss, well, the boy's got a temper. And it's the best way to let it out. I'd encourage him to do it more often. ;)

*hug* It was a pleasure writing it, hun. OTP all the way!
Evil Beauty: avada kedavrabeneathgulmissy on October 4th, 2005 03:02 pm (UTC)
It was really good :D I like it.
Even i can't read one chapter fics.Because when it was good i want more :))

how mud could taste so good

It was HILLARIOUS!!!! :D
refche on October 4th, 2005 03:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm aware comedy isn't exactly my strong suit, so I'm extremely glad you found it funny. :D
Dilekthelake on October 4th, 2005 03:14 pm (UTC)
It hurt Draco. It hurt him that the only person who knew the truth, knew him for the bastard he really was, wouldn't acknowledge it in public.

really nice.. loved it...

"What? I... what?"
"My what?"
"She... my... what?"


LOOOOL!!!! :D

Suede, he thinks, and a pair of buff trousers appear in his mind.
*goosebumpsss*

'No, I came here for a taste of hate. Needed something true. Was hoping you could yell at me for a while.' "You have a nice bum,"

LOOOLLL! totally lovely! it was such a nice moment dammit :D

his head wonders how mud could taste so good

=((((((((( damn!

The other was the image of Granger coming out, wrapped in just a towels, looking as if she were in her own home. (The fact that she actually was, managed to escape him at the moment.)

this is a real real nice expression of the feeling there... I love those kind of simple, silly, but also *real* explanations of the situation and this is one of them *loves* =)

He tells himself he'll go home, find a girl tonight, make her swoon with empty poetry. And next Saturday, him, Potter and Granger will go out and get pissed.

damn! >=/

She already has one too many

*rolls eyes* well... *rollssss her eyesss* yeah.. =/ *hates herm*
refche on October 4th, 2005 03:54 pm (UTC)
Thankssss! Easy on the Hermione hate. Can't have D/Hr without it! ;)

And I'm so very glad things seem to sound right and funny at times. Thanks for the review, telling me your reaction at certain parts and all that. *hug* It's appreciated!
Dilekthelake on October 4th, 2005 05:41 pm (UTC)
Easy on the Hermione hate

LOL :D she's our girl! we hate her but eventually she's still here with us... D/*blank*... not right... it should be nekkid!D/Hr *lovely* XD

and about the review.. I love to review and your story... it was really nice so it deserves one ;)
--. . . .-- .... .. --..geewhiz on October 4th, 2005 06:13 pm (UTC)
!!! Yeah, this was...I'm not sure. It was good, it was bitchin'. I like it, and I like the way you wrote it, but I need to say something more review-y, so I'll come back later with some substance. That's the plan.

Okay, fuck that plan, I'll just do it now. First, awesome Draco, and how Harry's all "HE'S GOOD OMG! I believe! I believe?".

And Hermione's behavior and attitude, wicked! She's so...Hermione. Sneaky little thing. And how you continued with Suede, it was nice.

Then the sex, 'cause I've read so much fan fic the sex just seems all the same in most cases, but yours was good b/c it referenced the mud, and the "Oh Merlin, more!" junk, and it didn't overwhelm the story.

And then Hermione, that moron, had to stick to her game. Sheesh, but I'm glad she did. 'Cause if she'd been all: "Wow, your divine cock made me see the light, I love you!" it woulda been so disappointing seeing as the rest of the story was dynamite.

So yeah, excellent job. Plz continue to write, but don't let bitchy reviewers force your hand with that "OMG, whin r u gonna updatez, ists bin twu daze!" shit. :)
refche on October 5th, 2005 01:39 am (UTC)
Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it.

Now, the sex thing, I was a bit nervous because it's not much, you know? Not detailed and quite a lot less than most nc-17 stories. But I couldn't write more of it and make it end like it did.

As for continuation, there's this whole world in my head where he comes back to her as a lover and things don't seem to change, but actually they do... But I don't think I can sit down and write it. I'll leave it to grow and develop in your head. It's often a much better story.
.: dhr ; base your accusations elsewhereallthingsgood on October 4th, 2005 06:23 pm (UTC)
Nooooooo this story was so (!!) great but I didn't want it to end unhappily :O
refche on October 5th, 2005 01:43 am (UTC)
Yeah, sorry about that... I'll aim for happy, next time. ;)
hpotterfan3432 on October 4th, 2005 06:41 pm (UTC)
*Squee* That was delicious!! Loved it. :)
refche on October 5th, 2005 12:06 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you did. :)
Suesue_k on October 4th, 2005 07:44 pm (UTC)
Hello!! You don't know me but I followed a link from awakencordy :) Fellow D/Hr fan and I have to say I absolutely LOVE what you did with this... it's written so well, so cleverly it's great... I love how you don't reveal everything all at once and you wonder as you read it what the score is...

Not to mention the lack of shouts to higher wizards etc... made me chuckle - There's nowhere near as much Merlin-ing in the actual books as I see in the fics, if there's any.... and same for all this " 'Mione" stuff! It sounds weird in my head. Ok... tangent....

Yes! Great fic! And Farnborough!!! Just down the road from me!!! Well, ish.. I think Tom Felton himself lives in Feltham which is even closer to me here in Epsom...

I look forward to reading more fics from you, you're very talented :) Do you have them on fanfiction or anything like that?

Ok

:)
refche on October 5th, 2005 02:37 am (UTC)
Hee! Draco's place is unplottable, but I'm sure you you'll find it if you sneak around. ;) I don't have a map handy, but memory nags at my brain that I've actually been to Epsom. Less than two years ago I spent some time in Sutton and London and I remember seeing a lot of places. Farnborough wasn't one of them, but I read the name and wrote it down back then.

Thank you, I'm very glad you liked it! And no, I don't have a lot of fics out there... But I'm planning on writing a lot in the near future. :)
Suesue_k on October 5th, 2005 09:00 am (UTC)
Oooh I look forward to reading more :)

Epsom is VERY close to Sutton so you may well have done!! It has a racecourse and stuff... just around the corner from Sutton... I've been there loads :) Small world!!
Brittbritt_1975 on October 4th, 2005 08:04 pm (UTC)
*sniff*
*sob*

Wow...that was AMAZING...but so sad.

refche on October 5th, 2005 12:07 pm (UTC)
Well... sometimes it has to be. Thank you!
ladyfiery47: bedroom eyesladyfiery47 on October 5th, 2005 01:12 am (UTC)
"Essss. 'Tis a nice letter." Then he proceeds to speak in Parseltongue. That, or he was just randomly hissing.




ahahahah. that was my favorite part.
refche on October 5th, 2005 04:06 am (UTC)
*grins* It certainly made my Top 5 list.
amor_draconisamor_draconis on October 5th, 2005 04:13 am (UTC)
pooor draco

*sighs*
refche on October 5th, 2005 12:08 pm (UTC)
He'll be fine, I'm sure of it. ;)
Raphaela/Raffy: KMS by gengkotsuyaraffyv on October 7th, 2005 05:28 pm (UTC)
Impressive! I wish it was smuttier though… but hey, maybe I'm just really depraved.Bag Head
refche on October 7th, 2005 07:11 pm (UTC)
Thank you! And nah, it's not deprivation. There's never enough smut out there. ;) But sometimes the smut flows freely and sometimes I have to force every sentence. And I really dislike forcing it, so I cut back a bit.
the original h0rcrux.bitemev_v on October 8th, 2005 02:59 pm (UTC)
beautiful.